


...Mingle Souls

by cathcer1984



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Claudia Stilinski Feels, Derek Hale & Sheriff Stilinski Friendship, Derek Hale Gets Therapy, Derek Hale is a Christmas Baby, Epistolary, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Stilinski Family Feels, Warning: Kate Argent, kind of, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-30 04:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16757296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathcer1984/pseuds/cathcer1984
Summary: Derek remembers meeting Stiles as a child. Their lives have always been entwined, apparently.





	...Mingle Souls

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the John Donne quite: _more than kisses, letters mingle souls_

_"I was very proud of our son today," Derek's mom said. She was smiling softly at him._

_"Really?" Derek's dad ruffled his hair, then his big warm hand settled on the back of Derek's neck._

_"Mmmhmm," his mom hummed. "He helped a little boy that was lost at the grocery store. Poor boy was in a right state. The- uh, that deputy's son, the one with the sick wife."_

_"Stilinski," Derek's dad nodded. His hand squeezing Derek's neck, "I'm proud of you too son. Be kind, it's the best thing you can be. A little -"_

_"-Kindness goes a long way." Derek repeated with his dad. They smiled and his mom brushed a hand over his hair._

The memory faded almost as suddenly as it had returned. Derek sucked in a deep breath. Across from him Matt, his therapist; watched with a mild expression, he waited for Derek to slump back against the comfy sofa.

Matt checked his watch. "That's our time up for today Derek. Do your exercises, write in your notebook, and _talk_ to your friends. I'll see you next week."

"Thanks," Derek replied gruffly before heading out the door. He had progressed from three sessions a week to one. There had been talk of him going once every two weeks but he didn't feel ready yet. Matt thought he was too comfortable in his routine and that needed to change, when Derek said so.

He nodded to the perky blonde receptionist as he paid, she murmured the standard price and wished him a "have a good day, Mr Hale," before he went and sat in the camaro for ten minutes.

Derek drove himself to Woodbine Lane, as part of his usual post-therapy routine. Maybe Matt was right, perhaps Derek did rely too much on his routine to keep himself feeling safe.

The front door was unlocked so Derek let himself in, taking a deep breath of the familiar and homely scents of the Stilinski residence.

"In the dining room!"

With a small smile, Derek shut the door and made his way through the kitchen to sit at the table where a cup of tea was waiting for him. Files were spread over the table and John glanced up at him before handing one over, "human or supernatural?"

Derek studied the photos or the dismembered bodies. "Psycho, but human." When John raised his head to look at him Derek amended himself. "Probably."

"I thought so, too." John rubbed his forehead. "Bastard's a bugger to catch."

"If you can get me to a reasonably fresh crime scene I might be able to sniff him out for you." Derek offered.

"We'll see."

They fell into silence again and Derek took a steady breath, then another. Almost twenty minutes later he finally asked what had been on his mind. "Did you know my parents?"

John set his pen down. "Andrew and Talia kept to themselves a lot. Obviously because of the werewolf thing. When I did come across them it was mostly in a professional capacity." John's heartbeat sped up, there was a cloying scent of sadness in the air before he spoke again.

"Clau- my- my wife though... she was friends with Andrew. They were part of a book exchange programme." John laughed a little wetly. "They _were_ the book exchange programme. They would trade books, all kinds of books. Only they'd leave them in public places for each other to find. Of course neither of them were very good at finding so there would be phone calls back and forth to find where the books were.

"Andrew was an avid historical fiction reader. Claudia hated them, she preferred fantasy. She would read her books out to Stiles, I suppose it's why he accepted werewolves and the supernatural a lot easier than Scott, or I did." John had a small smile on his lips, and Derek was gripping his cup in anticipation. "Once they'd finish each other's book they would-" John stopped suddenly. "Hang on a moment. I- It's been a while since I've been through her things but- just wait here, son."

John was out his seat and Derek listened to him head upstairs, he entered his bedroom and shuffled about. Long minutes later he was coming back into the dining room, in his hands he held an old shoebox.

"I never even thought about this before and I am sorry." John handed the box to Derek with shaking hands.

Slowly Derek lifted the lid, the inside smelt like ink, paper, a faint hint of Gardenias and even less so; a family that he had long lost. There were pages of letters, haphazardly shoved in the box, Derek's dad's handwriting on every single one of them. His vision blurred, his eyes burned and his chest ached. The tears were hot as they splashed against the back of his hand.

John's hand gripped the back of his neck firmly, his voice soft but filled with emotion as he spoke. "They would write down their thoughts about the books. Claudia kept every single one of Andrew's letters. They didn't meet much in person but she loved him fiercely and as dearly as a brother. He was devastated at her- when she-"

"I remember. When she... passed." Derek swallowed thickly. "He was always reading, all the time. Books I'd never even heard of, most of the time. I- Thank you, John. Thank you."

They stayed like that for a while, their tears shed for different people, Derek couldn't help but think that the lives of the Hales and the Stilinski's had been entwined together for decades.

\--*

 

_December 2000  
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_

_Claudia,_

_I adored hearing about how you read Holes aloud Stiles. I found myself doing exactly that with Derek and Cora, when I revisit it every few years. Did he do the same as Cora and start digging up the backyard?_

_This book was phenomenal. I could not put it down. Talia banished me from our bed as I was up so late reading it and wanted to sleep. The twists and turns of the plot are so complex and I predict that we haven’t seen the worst yet. I am impatient for the next one._

_My favourite part was, of course, when Laura curled up next me to read along. You have created fans of us both with this series. I cannot wait to find out what happens next…_

\--*

Derek read his dad’s letters with a hunger for the written word that he had lost after the fire. He used to love reading, Derek saw his dad curled up in front of the fireplace in winter with a thick blanket over his lap and a cooling cup of tea forgotten next to him. And in the height of summer he would be on the porch swing, on leg causing it to sway gently as he read, face soft with contentment. 

As a boy Derek idolised his dad and started to read to be just like him. His mom used to tell stories of Derek picking up one of his books as a toddler and sitting next to his dad and reading. Or open the book and babble to himself the story. 

Now, as a grown man Derek was reading again and he felt like his dad was forgiving him. Before the fire they had had a huge fight, shouting at each other in a way they hadn’t ever done before. Derek had been keeping secrets and his dad was concerned, angry even that for the first time that Derek wasn’t confiding in him.  
It was an even bigger weight of guilt Derek carried with him because he _knew_ if he had just told his dad about his girlfriend, about Kate, and Peter and Paige the fire would never have happened. 

Derek had the blood of eleven people on his hands. 

He had no idea how many days had passed, he barely ate or slept, just spent his time reading and reading. Greedily eating up the words with his eyes, feeling them settle in his heart weighing him down and buoying him up in ebbs and flows.

He wrote a list of the books Claudia and his dad had exchanged. He was going to hunt each one down and share them with Stiles. Then Derek read the final letter, not the last one in the box but the last one his dad had written, Derek hadn’t realised until he saw the date how close together the fire and Claudia’s death were. 

_15th October 2004_

_Claudia,_

_I am struggling to put down these words onto paper with the knowledge that you will never read them. I am unable to contain my sorrow at your passing. I was aware of your sickness, your troubled mind and I still received letters from you._

_My soul aches for your son, Stiles and for your soulmate, John. They will be so lost without your brightness lighting up every room you entered and your kind heart infecting every person you encountered._

_I do not know how to put into words how devastating it is to lose a mother, and for Stiles to lose his so young; nine years old and having to face such an adversary as death, the cruelty of life is the brutal shortness of it in others._

_One day, when he is ready, I will give him your letters. I will tell him of his mother, the woman I know and love. The woman who found such wonder in words and imagined vistas of deep space._

_I will miss you, Claudia._

_For the final time I shall sign off._

_With all my words, and an aching heart,_  
Andrew  
Derek stared at the letter. He wiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand, the fire happened just over a month after that. Cora had been off school because she was struggling with her shift, they family were getting ready for Thanksgiving. They always made a big deal of it, coming together a week before. 

Kate had timed it well. The fire was blazing by the time Derek and Laura had gotten back from school. The smoke was thick in the air, ash flying around, firefighters doing their best but being unable to save anyone other than Peter. The stood and watched their home burn feeling the death of each pack member like a bullet to the chest. 

John had been the Deputy to take them to the station. He sat them down in the break room with blankets over their shoulders, left to sort out child protective services. 

Sitting in the comfort of his home Derek allowed himself for the first time to let the memories of after the fire flood over him. 

_Derek and Laura had sat at opposite ends of the worn sofa, breathing in the pungent bitterness of Derek’s guilt, old coffee, stale doughnuts and the salty tang of Laura’s tears. Suddenly she pushed herself off the sofa rushing out of the room. Derek listened to her footsteps as she pushed through a door and started to gasp for air. She started to wail and retch, Derek couldn’t make himself move to comfort her. It was his fault and she knew it._

_He listened as Laura made sounds more wolf than human, he heard a soft voice speaking to her and figured she was getting comfort elsewhere._

_Closing his eyes Derek swallowed down the bile. Firefighters working hard to put out the flames, Peter was being wheeled into an ambulance. Smoke and ash filled the air, Derek knew as soon as he entered the preserve that Kate was involved. Her perfume hung in the air leading him closer and closer to the house._

_At first he thought she was inside. Then he smelt the mountain ash mixed in with her floral scent and felt the horror of having the deaths of eleven members of his pack on his hands._

_A loud, fast heartbeat and quick steps drew his attention to the door of the break room. A boy, with sickly pale skin, dark bags underneath his eyes and a shaved head came in. He didn’t say anything just stared at Derek with big, sad brown eyes._

_“What?” Derek growled._

_The boy flinched before moving to sit on the sofa near Derek. The closer he got the more potent the smell of sadness, loneliness, chemicals from medication and guilt almost as cloying as Derek’s own became._

_The boy wanted comfort and so did Derek._

_He moved his arm holding the blanket open, the kid scrambled forward tripping over himself in his desperation for contact. Derek got the impressed no one had hugged him recently given the way he clung to Derek’s shoulders as curled into his side. Wrapping an arm, and the blanket around the boy Derek said nothing as the kid’s harsh breathing settled into an uneasy sleep._

_Derek closed his eyes again._

Back in the present Derek took a deep breath, he couldn’t think straight and his chest ached. It took some time but soon he was able to gather himself enough to shower, put on clean clothes and drive his car. 

The Stilinski household had the living room lights on and Derek glanced at the clock on his dashboard, it was just after six in the evening. Not too late to visit, Derek justified to himself as he knocked on the door. 

“Hey!” Stiles was beaming at him. “I just got in, like, ten minutes ago. Did you, like, sniff me in town dude?” 

“Don’t call me dude.” Derek said on reflex. “And no, I did not sniff you out.” 

“Yeah, yeah, Sourwolf, sure you didn’t. Come on in, I was just about to order pizza. I’m letting dad have some to celebrate me being home on my last college winter break. You want in?”

Derek hesitated. “Is, uh, is your dad home?” 

Stiles frowned. “Nah, but he won’t be long. Everything okay, big guy?”

Stuffing his hands in the pocket of his jacket Derek stopped mid-shrug as his hand crinkled at the letter carefully folded there. “What do you remember of the fire?” 

“Your fire?” Stiles asked, then flushed red. “Fuck, shit. Sorry, sorry I did _not_ mean it like that. The Hale fire? Not a lot. It was like a month after mom died, the first shift dad had back at work. I was supposed to be back at school but I ran away and stayed at the station. It’s a bit of a blur, honestly.” 

“Do you-” Derek looked at his feet. “Do you remember me?” 

“I-” Stiles paused, studying Derek’s face. “You were in the break room. Lau- oh god. Laura was in the toilets upset.” 

Derek snorted, upset was an understatement. “She was wailing.”  
“One hell of a racket. I wanted to see what caused it. I got side-tracked, by you.”

“You fell asleep on me.” Derek agreed.

“First time I’d properly slept since mom. I’d keep myself awake, and pass out from sheer exhaustion. Wouldn’t let anyone touch me, not even dad or Scott and definitely not Melissa. Until you, it was like a dam broke. For me and dad.” Stiles’ voice turned sad with a bitter note to his scent. “Dad started drinking then, I think it was me. Not wanting him close, and then seeing me asleep and curled up with a stranger… I guess it was my fault-”

“It wasn’t.” Derek and Stiles turned to see John standing in the doorway. He looked devastated. Focusing his attention on Stiles John approached his son, held his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “It was not your fault. I promise son. I went back to work too soon, I knew it but the medical bills… being on the force is hard, especially hard when you’ve lost a loved one and then see two kids lose all of theirs. It was too much, too soon. But I got through it, Stiles you helped me through it.” John pulled Stiles into a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re home, son.”

“Me too dad.” Stiles swiped an arm over his eyes. “Sorry, our greeting was a bit heavy. The big guy is here to see you.” 

John glanced at Derek surprised. “You alright son?” 

“It’s about the letters.” Derek whispered.

“Letters, what letters?” Stiles asked, looking between his dad and Derek. 

“Stiles, go an order the pizza. Get enough for three.” John said. 

With narrowed eyes Stiles huffed and headed for the kitchen muttering under his breath. Derek waited until the door was shut before speaking. “I’m sorry John. I forgot he was coming home today.”

John shook his head and stepped close enough to put a hand on Derek’s shoulder. “Don’t apologise son.”

Derek took the letter out and handed it to John for him to read. John’s expression remained steady but his heartbeat increased. “I don’t know what to do with it. If I should show him, Stiles, I mean.”

“I- “ John seemed at a loss for words and he passed the letter back.

“It’s not like I have the other half of the letters.” Derek murmured. “They would have been in the house and burned in the fire. I’ve made a list of the books they each read, I was going to hunt them all down.”

“I think that’s a great idea Derek.” John said, squeezing Derek’s shoulder. “We’ll talk to him about it after dinner.” 

Derek was shaking his head as Stiles barged through the kitchen door, shouting; “Uh, I don’t think so Pops! If this is about me I want to know now!” 

John and Derek exchanged glances. “Let me get changed, you two sit down, maybe Derek can start.” 

After John had gone upstairs, Stiles flung his arms out wide with his eyebrows raised “well?”

Moving to sit down Derek waited until Stiles sat on the chair before speaking. “For the past eighteen months I’ve been seeing a therapist-”

“That’s really great Derek,” Stiles said earnestly.

Ducking his head to hide the heat in his cheeks Derek cleared his throat. “His name is Matt. Your dad put me on to him. He helps the department sometimes. I’ve gone down to a session a week, after each one I come here.”

“Here?” Stiles looked around his living room. “Why?”

“It’s safe.” Derek looked everywhere but at Stiles. “It smells like pack and family and _home_.” He coughed trying to pretend his voice didn’t break on the last word. Stiles didn’t say anything but his heartbeat was loud in Derek’s ears. John came downstairs. He paused as Derek started speaking again. “Matt helped me process what happened with Kate, and everything with the fire and Laura. He’s helping me to remember good things about my family, not just the horrors of the aftermath.” 

Derek chanced a look at Stiles’ face. He was staring at Derek with rapt attention, eyes wet and fingers tapping against his knees. “I remembered something this week, about you. Sort of. My mom was telling dad about how I’d helped you in the store. You’d gotten separated from your dad and were panicking.

“I came here afterwards and asked-” his throat dried up.

“He asked if I knew his parents.” John finished for Derek. “I didn’t but your mom did. She was book buddies with Andrew, Derek’s dad. They wrote letters and read books. I gave Derek Andrew’s letters.”

Stiles was staring wide eyed between them. Derek reached over and set a hand on his knee giving it a brief squeeze before holding the letter out. “I read this one earlier. I- I’m sorry I don’t have the responses.” 

With his hands shaking Stiles reached out and opened the letter, he stared at it blankly then his eyes darted to Derek’s face, to his dad’s and back to the words as he began to read. The room was most quiet, filled with a tension Derek couldn’t quite describe. He watched as Stiles read, the glistening in his eyes becoming wetness on his cheeks. 

When he had finished Stiles placed the letter on the coffee table and flung himself forward catching both Derek and John in his arms. “Don’t you dare apologise for not- don’t you dare.” Stiles almost growled as he clung to Derek with one arm, John was pulled down, Derek’s shoulder digging into his stomach in a way that had to be uncomfortable but he gripped Derek’s neck tightly as he wound an arm round Stiles. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes before they each started shifting. Slowly they let go; cleared their throats and discreetly wiped their eyes but patting each other on the knee or the back. 

“So, pizza and beer?” Stiles suggested, eyes bloodshot and cheeks red. “It’s a Stilinski family Christmas Eve tradition.”

“Meatlovers, son.” John’s grin was bright on his worn face. When Stiles pulled a face he laughed, “Or it’s veggie burgers for all of us, right son?” John directed at Derek. 

“Right. Meatlovers, Stiles.” Derek said in mock-seriousness. “Or it’s veggie burgers.” 

Stiles shoved at Derek’s shoulder as he laughed loudly. “Meatlovers it is. Just this once!” He pointed a finger John and whipped out his phone. “I’ll order it to deliver and we can get started on the beer!”

“Didn’t you order earlier?” Derek asked.

John let out a snort of disbelief. “He was listening at the door.” 

“Typical.” Derek said. But he was grinning and Stiles was looking at him with such a fond expression that it made Derek’s chest ache in a lighter way.

*

The following day was Christmas and Derek lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He was due at Scott’s for Christmas dinner with the rest of the pack late in the afternoon but the morning was his. 

A knocking sounded at his door disrupting Derek’s thoughts. He dragged himself from his bed to let Stiles in. “Morning,” Derek greeted him. “Want some coffee?”

“Merry Christmas Derek,” Stiles said brightly. 

With a soft smile Derek said “Merry Christmas Stiles. I have something for you.” 

“Oh?” Stiles looked pleased. “Aren’t we doing Christmas gifts later at Scott’s?”

Derek shrugged, “I didn’t have enough wrapping paper.” He started up the stairs. “Come on, we’ll get coffee in a bit.”

Stiles was frowning but he trailed behind Derek until he stopped in front of the door to the spare bedroom. “It’s in there.” Derek said, nudging Stiles to go in ahead of him. 

When Stiles opened the door his scent dropped from the high floral notes of excitement to something deeper, more earthy of disappointment. He looked around at the mostly empty bookshelves, the two comfy chairs and table between them. On the table was an old shoebox lid off and filled with letters. 

“I don’t understand.” 

“I know,” Derek said gently. “These are the books your mom and my dad read. I didn’t have time to get them all. Some of them are quite obscure, but I am working on it. That’s her box, and my dad’s letters. I thought we could follow in their footsteps so to speak. You can come here anytime you want. To read or whatever…” he trailed off as Stiles stared at him. 

“Derek.” Stiles stepped up to him, their chests brushing as they moved with each breath. “Derek it’s perfect. Thank you, thank you so much.” 

“You like it?”

“I more than like it. I can’t even comprehend it to be honest.” Stiles looked around again with bright eyes, “It’s phenomenal.” He put a hand on Derek’s cheek before whispering “I have a present for you too.”

Then Stiles tipped his head forward and pressed their lips together. Derek kissed him back just as gently, their lips moved slowly before Stiles pulled back resting his forehead on Derek’s. “Happy birthday, Derek.” Stiles said through a smile. 

Reaching up to hold on to Stiles’ waist with his hands Derek kissed Stiles again, because he could. “I love you.” 

“Derek-”

“No, hear me out, please.” Derek closed his eyes but he could still feel Stiles’ warm breath on his face, the heat from his body and he could hear his heartbeat. “Matt told me I need to stop denying myself things I want, to be more honest with myself and others. I want you and I love you. I’m not going to pretend I’m not, but I need you know that it’s okay if you aren’t.” Derek opened his eyes to look at Stiles, “And if you are I’m in. I am all in.”

Stiles lurched forward pressing kiss after kiss to Derek’s mouth until he opened under Stiles’ lips and their tongues slid together. It was wet and sloppy and prefect. “I’m in, Derek. I’ve been in for years. I was just waiting for you.” 

He pulled Derek in closer so they were hugging each other tightly. Derek’s eyes landed on the old shoebox and he sent a silent thank you to Claudia Stilinski. Soon they would get some coffee and breakfast, before making their way back to the book room, Stiles would chose a book for each of them and they would sit together on a chair reading. 

As the years go on they would find all the books Claudia and Andrew read as well as adding their own. When they move the book room moves with them too, gaining new additions for each of their children and it gets bigger and bigger as their family and pack grows. 

But for now, in this moment, they have each other and for Derek that is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [on tumblr](https://cathcer1984.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Unbeta'd cause I'm too lazy to find one.
> 
> Also, I assumed that Derek was 16 when the fire happened, Stiles was born in '95 so he would have been 9 in 2004. So there is a 7 year age difference. I got the info for the Stilinski address off the internet because it's not like I've watched the show.


End file.
